A lot of the UCI tech rules seem to be about making cycling look like the Platonic ideal of cycling. My question is: if you don’t have to justify a rule with any BS about “safety” or “fairness” but purely about “Ban what looks stupid,” what would you change in the rule book?
I have two contributions to start:
Mirrors rule. [I use a SprinTech drop bar end mirror myself]
I’ll add a controversial one. All shorts must be black. If Wimbeldon can require white tennis outfits, black shorts are a small sacrifice. I am willing to entertain exceptions for those wearing leader’s jerseys and if your last name is Cipollini. 
Black shorts with all leader/classification jerseys with the exception of polka dots. In that case you can get bonus GC time for finding new and unhinged ways to add polka dots to your kit.
Idk I think road race suits look much cooler and TT bikes are sweet. The helmet thing I can agree has gotten out of hand from a pure looks perspective.
The jersey and the bib don’t have to come from the same company.
Mine have already been said:
I was hoping the typo in the title was for ascetic cycling rules.
I am pleased to see that the comments thus far are serving both purposes.
No more white jerseys. Cycling is a sweaty sport and they get see-through within the first few miles. If MVdP is getting fined for blasting his nips on the podium then everyone participating in the white jersey wet t-shirt contest should be too.
I know it’ll never happen, given how the sport is funded, but get rid of all the corporate logos. Let actual designers create cool jerseys, not billboards. Rename the teams something exciting and/or memorable like the better-funded sports franchises instead of naming them after whatever mega-corp paid the most.
Definitely get rid of the more ridiculous TT helmets. One (POC?) looked like it was basically shoulder width and 30-40 litres in volume. If they got rid of TT bikes too I doubt many would be upset, and it should help the poorer teams.
Once upon a time, all shorts and shoes had to be black, and all socks white, but those rules lapsed circa 1980.
Socks and sleeves should return to 80s level of shortness, and sun cream should be max SPF5.
Let’s see more bronzed guns and comedy cycling tan lines please.
No helmets of any kind - I want to see their faces. Casquettes however, are encouraged.
SRAM is outlawed. It’s fugly.
No rear cogs over 30t.
I think the principles of the Lugano Charter do allow the UCI to ban things just because they don’t like the way it looks; I think they should just be more open about doing that, rather than hiding behind flimsy excuses of safety, fairness etc. Although I don’t know how well that would go down following the SRAM legal debacle. I wonder if actually it would be easier for the UCI - if the UCI claim “safety” than the UCI needs data to back that up, and it can be challenged if the data isn’t there. If the UCI just said “we don’t like the way it looks”, that’s much harder to argue with!
I think TT helmets are definitely a good target. Not only do they look stupid, they are very expensive and arguably less safe. And it’s a quick fix - they already have separate regulations for road helmets, so they can just apply those and remove the TT helmet category.
I don’t mind the existence of TT bikes. If anything, I would say most actual TT bikes look good. On the other hand, some of the modern aero road bikes are ugly, especially Y-shaped handlebars etc. Case in point would be Dan Bigham’s road-Shiv - kudos to the amount of nerdery involved, but the result is not pretty.
Most pro cyclists look good wearing most pro cycling kit. I do think there have been some questionable choices, but nothing that any kind of generic ban would solve - rather certain individual kits should be vetoed. I also think that not everyone is a pro cyclist, and if you’re not a pro cyclist, and don’t have a pro cyclist’s body, you should take a bit of personal responsibility for what you wear.
I’m ok with (dark)colored shorts, but the diaper look – where the groin area is a different color – is an abomination.
No mirror glasses on summit finishes. I want to see the full grimace. 
UCI should throw out the rule book and just adopt the Velominati Rules
I’m ok with (dark)colored shorts, but the diaper look – where the groin area is a different color – is an abomination.
Having ridden on an amateur team with the “diaper look”, I am 100% in agreement. Hideous.
So what do people think the lowest allowable gear should be, according to Rule #5? I’d say somewhere between 44x17 and 42x21, none of this 38x34 wimpery.
(NB: I’m a spinner so never adhered to Rule #5)
I’m okay with the small gears. I don’t really want to go back to everyone grinding up the mountains at 45 rpm. Just watching that makes my knees hurt.
I think gearing is outside the bounds of aesthetics.
No more wide-set fork blades/chainstays, like the Hope/Lotus bike. I appreciate the technical innovation, but it’s ugly.